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From unbearable to wearable: freshen up your fashion crimes by Mandy Murphy.

Go on.  Admit it.  Although any self-respecting fashionista would probably rather frappé their storecards than confess to ever having put a Manolo’d foot wrong in the style stakes, it seems that even the most dedicated followers of fashion among us do suffer the oh-so-occasional “wardrobe malfunction”.  One need only witness the snide “what were they thinking” pages of many a celeb weekly to realize that despite having an army of stylists and the pick of the couture rails on offer, even style-savvy stars can have the occasional off day.  What hope for us mere mortals if our obscenely-paid showbiz icons can’t always get it right?

Most alarmingly, recent research found that 86 per cent of us are guilty of buying clothes so unsuitable or hideous that they may never come out of the closet. Churchill Home Insurance’s survey revealed that the average woman is hoarding 14 items of unworn clothing at the back of her wardrobe, and typically fritters away over £300 a year on frivolous purchases (think how many sackfuls of Primark goodies that could have gone towards!).

Common excuses for committing these crimes against fashion ranged from end-of-sale panic-buying to the age-old gaffe of buying items a size too small with the over-ambitious intention of slimming into them.  Fashion changes and style remains, but clearly grossly misguided shopping slip-ups survive them both.

Lisa Goodman, 22, is no stranger to the momentary madness brought on by frenzied or disinterested shopping.  “The most disastrous outfit was a 70’s brown floral dress with matching cape that I saw in a charity shop,” she says.  “At first I thought it was hideous, but after several glances I began to envisage myself wearing it and looking effortlessly chic, in an Audrey Hepburn in “Roman Holiday” sort of way.  Sadly that vision was shattered as it fitted badly and I looked utterly frumpy in it!”

But could there be a ray of hope on offer to these poor, rumpled (anti-)style specimens that might never see the light of day? Simply taking a fresh look at your wardrobe could breathe life into even the oldest, most unloved items - there’s nothing wrong with vintage after all!

Try recombining, layering and customizing clothes to keep in line with this season’s looks, or dye any dodgy-coloured items to a more “you” hue.  Got a pair of skinny jeans which give you killer pins but are a teensy bit too unforgiving in the bum region?  Fret not, simply team them with a long-line jumper or smock blouse - both key pieces this season - and hide a multitude of sins in the process!  How about a tweed skirt that seems too frumpy for work, too square for a night on the tiles?  Wear it with a silk blouse, Mary Janes and strings of pearls and hey presto, Miss Marple chic like you’ve just strutted off a Dolce and Gabbana catwalk!  Or a print dress which is lovely in every other way but slightly saggy round the middle?  Buckle it up with this spring’s must-have belt, the waist-cincher, for feminine chic with a funky (and figure-flattering!) twist. 

Above all, never be afraid to experiment and if in doubt, accessorize! Lisa agrees:  “I took the ‘Roman Holiday’ dress to another charity shop, but hung on to the cape as that actually looks really good with a simple black vest and jeans!  I’m also a big fan of customizing clothes and recently vamped up an old, barely-worn denim skirt by cutting it shorter, fraying the edges and sewing on an embroidered Chinese bird which I cut out of an old kimono top.  Even when I wear it now I’m asked where I bought it from and I’m always very proud to tell them I customized it myself!”

Clearly, then, there’s hope for many of the style monstrosities lurking at the back of many a wardrobe, but what fate awaits the ghastly garments for which there is simply no redemption?  Probably best to bag them up, take them to the local charity shop and leg it before anyone can cotton on that they belong to you!  After all, anonymous donations are always welcome!